My sister and I played that game several years in a row, until that section of shoreline became more overgrown. Over that time, the invaders changed every year. Once they were French, after I'd been reading 1950's youth fiction set during the French and Indian war. One year they were Malay pirates after I'd been reading a lot of really old nautical fiction. And so forth. We had lots of imagination, so the revision feels a lot more like I imagined it at the time, while the original is more like an adult might have seen it. Thanks for reading, Kirk!
Cutting out all the references to this being in a child's imagination kept the stakes really high in this version. You handled the tension really well.
I liked the formatting of this newer verdion, but without the mention of pirates, i imagined Native Americans. And it felt much darker.
My sister and I played that game several years in a row, until that section of shoreline became more overgrown. Over that time, the invaders changed every year. Once they were French, after I'd been reading 1950's youth fiction set during the French and Indian war. One year they were Malay pirates after I'd been reading a lot of really old nautical fiction. And so forth. We had lots of imagination, so the revision feels a lot more like I imagined it at the time, while the original is more like an adult might have seen it. Thanks for reading, Kirk!
Cutting out all the references to this being in a child's imagination kept the stakes really high in this version. You handled the tension really well.
Thanks, D.A.! I was uncertain about my revision, hoping I hadn't cut its heart out.
I enjoyed both versions. Sure, this one was less playful, but it worked. Different tones
Just seeing this. Well crafted.
Thanks, J!