Loved the use of the form here, Mark. To me it sounds contemporary but no less thought-provoking. A fun playing around with ideas, too. Your words were well-chosen!
Well, in older sonnets (really, a lot of older poetry in general), it was common to invert the usual Subject-Verb-Object construction into Subject-Object-Verb. So for example, "These present-absent with swift motion slide" was written in this way to get the end rhyme in for "slide," but it's not how we really use language today. We can still write in this way, of course; we're just going to align our writing with historical poems when we do.
Contemporary poetry doesn't really do this; it's in fact more restrictive to write in rhyming verse today, because SOV inversions aren't really "in fashion." What IS in fashion, though, is to only use poetic metaphor to convey how the writer feels—it's more rare today to find metaphors in contemporary poetry employed to convey the nature of a thing or an idea, or to try to illustrate its meaning.
So, that's what I really appreciate about your poem. The language construction is definitely of our time, which is fun. (Personally I tend to prefer this because I don't think there's anything wrong with Modern English) However, I feel like you're also trying to get at the nature of things with your descriptions, like in:
"...What we’d give
to dwell in sessile homes like coral, those
whose bones are living stones and can oppose
the seething spate to strip its strength"
Just a personal preference, but with introspective poetry I really enjoy it when writers not just describe how things or events make them feel but also give a go at trying to describe metaphorically something about their nature. Harder to find these days in my opinion.
Thanks for such a detailed and informative explanation, James! I appreciate your time and the depth of your thoughts. Now that you've pointed it out, I can see it a lot more clearly as a feature of my process ... this desire to leave old fashioned construction behind while retaining metaphor regarding the "is" of things. Cheers!
I can't hold all the words sounds in my ear. I love that.
Thank you, Randy! That's high praise indeed – coming from a poet who writes with such rich sound as yourself!
Loved the use of the form here, Mark. To me it sounds contemporary but no less thought-provoking. A fun playing around with ideas, too. Your words were well-chosen!
Thank you, James! What makes a sonnet sound contemporary to you? I'm curious because I don't have a framework for that myself (that I know of).
Well, in older sonnets (really, a lot of older poetry in general), it was common to invert the usual Subject-Verb-Object construction into Subject-Object-Verb. So for example, "These present-absent with swift motion slide" was written in this way to get the end rhyme in for "slide," but it's not how we really use language today. We can still write in this way, of course; we're just going to align our writing with historical poems when we do.
Contemporary poetry doesn't really do this; it's in fact more restrictive to write in rhyming verse today, because SOV inversions aren't really "in fashion." What IS in fashion, though, is to only use poetic metaphor to convey how the writer feels—it's more rare today to find metaphors in contemporary poetry employed to convey the nature of a thing or an idea, or to try to illustrate its meaning.
So, that's what I really appreciate about your poem. The language construction is definitely of our time, which is fun. (Personally I tend to prefer this because I don't think there's anything wrong with Modern English) However, I feel like you're also trying to get at the nature of things with your descriptions, like in:
"...What we’d give
to dwell in sessile homes like coral, those
whose bones are living stones and can oppose
the seething spate to strip its strength"
Just a personal preference, but with introspective poetry I really enjoy it when writers not just describe how things or events make them feel but also give a go at trying to describe metaphorically something about their nature. Harder to find these days in my opinion.
Thanks for such a detailed and informative explanation, James! I appreciate your time and the depth of your thoughts. Now that you've pointed it out, I can see it a lot more clearly as a feature of my process ... this desire to leave old fashioned construction behind while retaining metaphor regarding the "is" of things. Cheers!
Love the internal rhyming there at the end!
Thank you, Ernie!
I feel helpless in the force of this violence!
Time to build some concrete roots and plant a garden!