What a delightful form! You inhabit it so naturally that the line breaks don't feel forced. I didn't notice the syllable count on my first read and thought you were just employing enjambment to make the rhymes feel effortless and draw attention to the lovely images: friendship dripping like honey from the faces of the young. So good. Also love how you capture the way children leave a park announcing they made a new best friend but not bothering to exchange names. So many details that feel exactly right. Thank you!
Fascinating form. Tucking it away to play with some day.
I love the journey this takes from the warm, simple, sunny delights of childhood, the easy trust and faith in other people, the fast friendships, to the cold dark of space and dying stars and distrustful adults, to the sudden joy of comets in old age hurtling back towards the sun.
Thanks - I'm glad it worked out! The theme determines the form for me, unless I'm starting with a blank slate. In this case, the idea had some roots, so I went looking in my repertoire for something to plant it in.
What a delightful form! You inhabit it so naturally that the line breaks don't feel forced. I didn't notice the syllable count on my first read and thought you were just employing enjambment to make the rhymes feel effortless and draw attention to the lovely images: friendship dripping like honey from the faces of the young. So good. Also love how you capture the way children leave a park announcing they made a new best friend but not bothering to exchange names. So many details that feel exactly right. Thank you!
Many thanks for such a close read, Abigail! I'm honored by your gift of time and encouragement. You've blessed me!
This is something!
Thank you, Randy!
Fascinating form. Tucking it away to play with some day.
I love the journey this takes from the warm, simple, sunny delights of childhood, the easy trust and faith in other people, the fast friendships, to the cold dark of space and dying stars and distrustful adults, to the sudden joy of comets in old age hurtling back towards the sun.
Thank you, Melanie! I'm honored that you've read it so closely.
Thanks for the explanation! I’ll give this form a try sometime😊.
You're quite welcome! Thanks for reading - I'd love to read your composition whenever you write it.
Delightful!
Which came first? Theme and form are perfectly aligned!
Thanks - I'm glad it worked out! The theme determines the form for me, unless I'm starting with a blank slate. In this case, the idea had some roots, so I went looking in my repertoire for something to plant it in.
I've never written one of these! Now I'm inspired.
Great! Thanks for reading. 🙂